Technoidiocracy
by Hazgarn
Summary: An in-universe chat conversation. Rampant stupidity of the sort associated with the internet. Misspellings are intentional. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


**Jospel**: Army of Darkness

**gawdofwhine**: but the first movie was gory s hell. And the vine rape!

**Jospel**: Shop smart. Shop S-mart.

**UpDown**: AoD

**Hazgarn**: NO way, Evil Dead 2 was by far the better movie.

**forgery**: i like the seen in the third one where he's in the windmill, and the evil thing comes out of him.

**Llexx**: Good, bad…I'm the guy with the gun.

**animefangurl01**: any u guys watch inu yasha, he its the sexy.

**UpDown:** OMFGBBQ!! INY IS TEH SHIZZ

**Hazgarn** **bangs her head on the keyboard.**

**forgery**: oh gods not again.

**Hazgarn**: Not again...

**UpDown**: FUCK no. I fucking HATE anime.

**Yuckster**: Alright, man, we effing get it. Now quit effing swearing before you get effing bannned again.

**forgery**: lol

(animefangurl01 has logged out: quit)

**gawdofwhine**: Yoru such a dick.

**Hazgarn**: Inuyasha isn't even all that annoying. It's not like she was talking about ONe Piece-of-shit. That one annoys the hell out of me.

**Yuckster**: Yeah. Inuyasha's not actually that bad... You know what they say:

**Yuckster**: The tetsiga turns from a katana to a falchion...going from 1d10/18-20 to 2d4/20...

**Yuckster**: And if you know what that means, you have a problem.

**Hazgarn**: And if you know wht that means, you have a problem.

**gawdofwhine: **Man, you guys are hardcore losets.

**UpDown**: LMAO

**LlexX**: I guess I'm safe then. I don't get it.

**Hazgarn**: It's a D&D thing, LlexX.

**gawdofwhine**: *losers

**LlexX**: Oh. You can just call me Lex.

**Hazgarn**: You even watch that show, Lex?

**LlexX:** Caught an ep once, didn't like it much.

**Hazgarn**: *ever

(Ti-Z has logged on)

**Hazgarn:** *shrugs*

**UpDown:** Heya tizzy 'sup?

**Ti-Z:** Not much Vic. How you been?

**LlexX:** Hey, I resemble that.

**Yuckster:** U know UD, always bitchin' 'bout something. Today it's G-men.

**LlexX:** You already did that joke Yucky.

**Yuckster**: Tiz dint hear it.

**Hazgarn**: YOu type like a five year old.

**Ti-Z**: G. I never suspected you of antigovernment sympathies, UD.

**UpDown**: Har. Laugh, I nearly shat.

**Yuckster**: Seriously, Vic. I used to think you were cool.

**Hanibal**: Vic's been going on about gargoyles.

**Ti-Z**: What about them? You don't really believe that stuff.

**Hazgarn**: Welcome to the conversation, H.

**LlexX**: What about believing it Tiz?

**Hanibal**: I choose when to grace you with my presence, Haz :D

**Ti-Z**: They can't exist. Check this out: http: / / charliestruth. com/ hypnosis HotCharlie has proof that the gargoyles are the result of mass-hypnosis experiments conducted on the entire population of Manhattan.

**Yuckster**: Charlie ain't so hot.

**gawdofwhine**: Isn't he the one who swears there's a primitive tribe of Irishmen living in the Amazon?

**Hanibal**: Hey, Lex, ain't you from the Big Apple? You ever seen one?

**Ti-Z**: You jackass. That was an Ardal Hanlan bit.

(Fuzzy has logged out: inactive)

**Hazgarn**: YOu lucky bastard. Nothing that cool ever happens on the West Coast. We have to make our own fun by electing celebrities to office.

**Jospel**: Sorry, afk. What I miss?

**gawdofwhine**: I could have sworn it was HotCharlie.

**Yuckster**: Yo, LlexX, you fall asleep? **nudges with his foot**

**Hazgarn**: I read your link, Tiz. Interesting, but flawed. THey've got footage from store surveillance cameras that both events actually happened. People pretended not to have them. They don't want to know what happened on those nights.

**Ti-Z**: Where'd you get all that, Haz?

**Hanibal**: You don't answer the man, Lex, and I'll start abusing my admin' priviledges.

**Hazgarn**: http: / / theunexplaned. org Check out their gargoyle timeline, too. All proven sightings…pictures.

**Hazgarn**: They look at everything thoroughly before they say anything. Unlike Charlie, who doesn't care if he looks like an idiot.

**LlexX**: It was on the subway.

**Yuckster**: You did NOT

**Hazgarn**: Holy shit.

**Ti-Z**: No effing way. Pull the other one.

**Hazgarn**: Wait, I'm still on that site. LIke, two days before the police station blew, right Lex?

**forgery**: srsly?

**LlexX**: I guess…they broke up a gang.

**LlexX**: or something.

**Jospel**: Were you scared? If I lived in NY I don't think I could sleep nights.

**gawdofwhine**: Yeah, cuz we all know New Yorkers slept like BABIES before.

**Hanibal**: lol. Hey, so, Lex. You saw them, do you think they're intelligent?

**UpDown**: Who're you kiddin? You just have to look at the pictures.

**Yuckster**: Yeah, we've seen gawd's ugly mug…we know sure as shit he's retarded.

**Hazgarn**: I think they are, otherwise we'd have seen them before now. THey'd already be caught and dissected if they werent' smart as hell.

**gawdofwhine**: look who's talkin sharkbait.

**Jospel**: So, like, if their so smart what if one of us was a gargoyle?

**Yuckster**: Bring it on hayseed

**Yuckster draws his AssBeatin' Stick™**

**UpDown**: Say what?

**Yuckster cracks his bad bat over the whiner's skull.**

(LlexX has logged out: quit)

**Jospel**: It could happen.

**gawdofwhine**: I'm gonna bring it. To you and your mama, and your mama's mama, and your droolin baby brother, and your fat father and you're slut ass sister.

**Hanibal**: You so had that on cut/paste. Now quit, or I'll be forced to actually do something.

**forgery**: what was your link again haz?

**Hazgarn**: theunexplained. org

**Hazgarn**: They even have this guy's blog on there. Vinny. I thought he was a crackpot, but most of what he says sincs up tiwh the timeline. It's possibly eh was the first.

**Jospel**: Is this another thing from your crazy-bin Haz?

**Hazgarn**: Er... Kinda. Hey, at least I'm not talking about Heroes again.

**gawdofwhine**: Don't get her started!

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm on a crusade of sorts to wrap up several of my half-written fanfic ideas so I can focus on the ones I truly care about. This was a dumb idea jotted down a long time ago. I apologize for the incidental self-insert. _Incidentally_, when I'm on IM or a chat, I actually do miss-capitalize words like that due to clinodactyly.


End file.
